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31 March 2010

Stop Stepping Out

Do not want.


Jesus Christ, can anyone keep it in their pants anymore?

First it was Tiger Woods. Now it's Mr. Sandra Bullock and reality TV staple Jesse James who's seen an array of tattooed women come forward and say he liked to have unprotected sex with them at his office.

I'm all for having as much sex as you can possibly get while you're on this planet. Sex, along with hot pizza and House Hunters marathons, is one of the few pure joys we get as humans. But everybody just needs to be up front about their proclivities, predilections, and desires.

But, as my grandmother always said, you should not make promises you can't keep. If you go on cake tastings, rent a church, and do the chicken dance with a lady and you promise to her that you will be monogamous until one of you dies, then don't put your dick in other women. Or, you know, maybe hold off on that marriage thing until you get tired of putting your dick in a lot of women.

And for fuck's sake: If you are going to have an affair, at least bag it, dude. God.

4 comments:

That Kind of Girl said...

Amen, dude.

Something She Dated said...

bag it is right...I find the most horrifying part of these stories is always the lack of protection...I mean damn...not only are you going to break my heart but you're going to give me the herp!?! (sidenote: "you" and "me" are used for empahsis...I don't have a jesse james in my life :P or the herp)

Skye Blue said...

RE the bagging thing, I'm starting to wonder if not wearing a condom part of the thrill? Does it heighten the illicitness of their affairs when they now they're also risking contracting a social disease or impregnating some chick who's probably just after their cash? Or is just a bit of a God complex based on the fact that they think they're invincible?

Whatever the reason, feel sorry for the women who have to deal with these creeps.

Leah said...

A couple of guys I was getting revved up with (at different times I hasten to add!) suddenly dropped it out that they want bareback. I dropped them, PDQ.

If they can't respect my views on bagging it, then they don't deserve me.

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