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11 April 2011

By Any Other Name...

So I happen to overhear a conversation between two female coworkers this morning, and one of them starts talking matter-of-factly about her boyfriend's "dink."

"Dink"?

Honey, I wanted to say, you do your man no favors by calling it a "dink."

A newborn baby has a dink. Possibly some midgets. But not any male over the age of 16. That's about as sexy as some chick getting me all hot n' bothered, then asking if she can hold my "pee pee." Just like that ::finger snapping sound::, the tower collapses and the game's over. Thank you, and good night.

For the record, I use "cock." Not "dick" or "wang" or "Love Missile F-11." Okay, maybe there's the odd occasion where I'll use "Little Jimmy O'Sullivan," but that's typically relegated to St. Patty's Day. Or, y'know, when I'm on "bizness."

Similarly, I like it when a woman refers to her holiest of holies as her "pussy." And I'm man enough to admit that "cooter" is pretty hot too. Yeah, that's right. I said "cooter." Represent!

7 comments:

Suzyn said...

I always refer to my "pussy." I find it rolls very nicely off the tongue and has that knee-buckling effect on men.

twg said...

//the tower collapses and the game's over. //

Jenga!

Veronica Vaughn said...

I'm a big fan of "chatch"

mhjozwiak said...

Yes! I second "chatch" :)

Angie J said...

I prefer to use the traditional terms "dick" and "pussy" its direct, to the point, and attention grabbing, and sometimes even had-on inducing... just saying

Thomas said...

I have laughed my ass off like there is no tomorrow to find such an amazing blog.... sure it's all nonsense.....OR IS IT????

Thanks for the laughs! I'm a follower now...dammit, now you've turned me into one of your sheeple...

T.

Date Girl said...

We go by cooter and peep in our house. Slightly less vulgar but not creepy cute like pee pee and hoo ha. I've heard some interesting names out there, but my favorite has to be what my father in law says about their dog when he's licking his willy (the dog, not the FIL). He calls it a dingus and I think that word is just is hilarious!

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