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25 June 2010

Things Are Tough All Over

So Joran van der Sloot -- the dude who confessed to killing some girl whom he invited to his hotel room and likely killed Natalee Holloway -- is fielding proposals of marriage. From women.

Here's where I have to ask, is the dating scene really all that bad in these women's cities? Have they literally torn through all the law-abiding citizens in their respective zip codes, and have decided to start branching out? Is the pool of available guys so shallow that they've decided to lower their criteria to the point that "accused murderer" is no longer a deal-breaker?

Frankly, I'm sure the women offering themselves to Slootie are fairly psychotic themselves. But the fact that he's got a line of women willing to bone him and I've still gotta go out and garner my leads the old fashioned way or find me a great Vancouver escort is fairly depressing.

Ladies of the world, let me just say this: Before you go offering your heart and/or loins to a murderer, consider the alternative.

Namely, me.

I'm not nearly as dashing or connected or rich as van der Sloot. But I eat pussy like a madman. And I've never killed anyone.


andygirl said...

I have to think that these women are either fame seekers or have some sort of murder fantasy. only explanation. I seriously can't imagine anyone *that* desperate that they'd propose marriage to a killer.

so wait, what's the new scoop on Sloot? I think he retracted his confession? (does he really believe anyone will buy that?)

Suzyn said...

//But I eat pussy like a madman. And I've never killed anyone. //


Kate said...

I would be seriously worried about these women. You probably don;t really want to date them. By the way last sentance fricking hilarious!

Kate xx

ziazitella said...

I think if you used, "I'm not nearly as dashing or connected or rich as (Joran) van der Sloot. But I eat pussy like a madman. And I've never killed anyone," as your title line for online dating, your hits would be through the roof. Although, they may not be the clan you're hoping to attract.

LuckyGirl said...

Much as I thought Van Der Slut would make a terrific Mr. Lucky Girl, your credentials here have served to place you in the lead. You are clearly everything I've ever wanted ("I eat pussy like a madman.") and MORE ("I've never killed anyone.)
So, City Hall? Noonish? :-p

manshopping said...


You haven't killed anyone YET.

Either way, my loins are still available.

twg said...

I think the psychological profile for these women is that they have been previously abused in some way, so they fixate on someone who fits in with their abusive pattern like a killer or criminal, but who can't actually physically hurt them because of the incarceration. Anyway, you don't want any part of that dynamic.

Still, come on, you've never crushed on someone unavailable?

Number Nine said...

Its simple really, since hes in the clink they will always know where he is. That's what they really want.

Plus if they were the kinda girls that wanted someone who eats pussy like a madman they'd be writing female prisoners :D

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