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07 October 2010

She's the Boss.



My name is Ken. I work smackdab in downtown Boston. And I totally want to have sex with my boss. Good morning.

My boss is about 56 years old. Blonde, roughly 5'3". Prolly 100 pounds soaking wet and holding a sack of potatoes. She is a mother of four from one of the city's affluent suburbs. And, holy mother of god, I want to bury my face between her legs with an intensity that only guys who've been in prison for twenty years can appreciate.

Why do I wanna bone a woman who is roughly ten years younger than my mother? Because she's my boss. Sure, she's also an incredibly hot 56-year-old professional who has her hair done on Newbury Street and depends on a team of twenty five Vietnamese women in Newton to keep her nails appropriately chiseled. But, dude, fucking the boss? That's gotta be bonus points the likes of which my feeble mind could never comprehend.

It's also never going to happen. Because she's the boss. And she didn't get to be the boss by throwing herself at goofy, pale, nerdy subordinates.

Not that there isn't something there. We've been on countless business trips together, during which jokes about sex and making out and getting fingered fly fast and furious [that last one being a story she told me about her high school prom that had me up all night in my hotel room jerking off to the dulcet tones of CNN]. Once, while we were setting up our company's booth at a trade show, she bent over and inadvertently backed up squarely against my crotch, then stood there for a beat, noting, "Hey, I hope you at least buy me dinner after this." And, voila, I had enough masturbatory fuel for, oh, ten months.

But, again, I can fantasize all I want; I ain't gettin' in the boss' three-hundred dollar pants. Although I would like to assure her that letting me bone her in the Executive Conference Room wouldn't shift the balance of power. In fact, it would probably make me an even better employee, as I see it.

Perhaps, in the dark recesses of her mind, she's thought of this as well. And is even considering throwing me a bang before her retirement. In any event, I'll be here, waiting for the Boss to come to her senses and swoop me up in her streamlined Mercedes for a night of passionate snogging and backseat screwing.

In the meantime, I may try my luck with the 62-year old Haitian cleaning woman. I see the way she looks at me...

7 comments:

Skye Blue said...

Ken - i loved this post as per usual, but this line:

"In the meantime, I may try my luck with the 62-year old Haitian cleaning woman. I see the way she looks at me..."

had me howling. f'in priceless.

Something She Dated said...

You are the perv I hope to be one day. Except instead of oldies. I'll be hoping to bone 4th year try-hards. Though I'll only give out A+ for ones that let me sit....

SoccerMom said...

I can guarantee you the your boss has thought about fucking you. Hello! Women 40 and up have super high sex drives.

ziazitella said...

"...letting me bone her in the Executive Conference Room wouldn't shift the balance of power. In fact, it would probably make me an even better employee..."
I love this logic. Next time your up for a raise, put this in writing and see how it goes.

Jo said...

Hee, nice, Ken. Though in the stories I've read, you're more likely to get boned by her in the Exectutive Conference Room...

Date Girl said...

Hey Ken, thanks for stopping by my blog. I was skeptical when I saw the name of yours but thought I'd give it a peek. Definitely not for the prude of heart. Love it, and I'm with Skye, loved the line about the cleaning lady. Good luck with the boss. I agree-a sexually satisfied employee= a good employee. Just saying.

nikki04 said...

Oh! Oh! Sex and power! Yes! I wanna play!

OK so confession. Upon reading this, my inner Feminist wanted to have a conversation about viewing women in power as sex objects and blah blah blah.

While she has a point, I had to rein her in and remind her not everything is controversial.

Plus. If I were the boss, would this be hot? Um. Yes. If I were an underlying, would fucking my boss be hot? Um. Yes. Is gender really a issue here? Um. No.

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