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25 January 2010

No, I Did Not. So Stop Asking

I love sex. But a lot of times, I really hate men.

I think many straight women feel this way about the gender. The broad, muscular shoulders and arms? Yes, please. A strong jawline? I will now lick it. And, of course, the gift that keeps us dealing with the male brand of bullshit, the dick.

Men and women experience sex in vastly different ways because of that organ. In my experience, most men need only an eyeful of cleavage, mouth full of tongue, and vigorous stroking from a hand/mouth/vagina to achieve a pretty great orgasm. On the other hand, there's what it takes both myself and some of my female friends to make our toes curl. Our frame of mind has to be just right. The hand/tongue/penis also has to be rubbing just the right spot. And then there's the ultimate buzzkill, whispered in the heat of the moment.

"Did you come yet?"

How I hate that question. You know all the hard work you were doing just now? Thrusting quickly? Spending some time crouched between my legs? Grabbing my tits? I was enjoying that. You heard the nonsense syllables and grunts coming from my throat. I was just beginning to stop thinking about work, my bills, the call from my grandmother I need to return and get more into the moment, which would have led to me coming.

But no. Now you've got me worried that I'm some sort of frigid bitch incapable of feeling love. That I have no bruised your delicate ego because I didn't pull a When Harry Meets Sally in the allotted timeframe. I try to ease back into the pillows and enjoy, but I've already lost my hard-on. So to speak.

7 comments:

Miss Alpha said...

So true, so fabulous. You would love The Heart & Soul of Sex by Gina Ogden. :)

That Kind of Girl said...

AMEN. I love you for writing this. Guys, if I come, you will friggin' know it, so stop asking!

Skye Blue said...

I so hear you on the pressure to cum during sex - especially from goal oriented men, and on how the ill timed 'did you come yet?' can kill a mood.

Having said that I must also add that from what I've been learning through reading and talking to a few dudes, ejaculation doesn't necessarily indicate that he's had an orgasm/climaxed. Who knew?

Ken said...

Hold the phone. The female orgasm exists?

Holy shirts.

The Naked Redhead said...

Ugh, I had some dude ask me that question, which he quickly followed with, "What's wrong with you...are you like repressed or something?"

Yeah, seriously, because YOU were so good? And it's completely UNBELIEVABLE that I wouldn't climax after three minutes of your wonderful, half-hearted love-making? No. No, no, and also no.

I echo your sentiment...I love sex, but sometimes I really hate men.

Cindy said...

My name is Cindy and I approve this message. Well done.

twg said...

Also, I love you.

Yes yes yes.

:)

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