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14 January 2010

Who Not to Marry



When I'm hungover, there's nothing better than a reality TV marathon. Sometimes, I land on TLC's What Not to Wear, aka The Show That's Not Jon and Kate That People Still Watch on TLC. If you're too busy watching Shake Weight commercials to have seen this program, a shrill woman and gay man take a complete slob and teach him or her (typically a her) how to dress appropriately, give her a haircut, and teach her how to correctly apply makeup. Then the former hot mess goes home to reveal her new look. Most often to a doting husband.

Back the fuck up. This woman has a wardrobe that consists of dime-store men's jeans and promotional t-shirts and she managed to land a man? Some of the men are even kind of hot. And some of these men had sex with these women in the recent past because there's a baby running around.

I actually invest some time, thought, and money into my wardrobe. I can do urban professional. I can rock a timeless Mad Men look. My ass looks fantastic in a snug pair of jeans. I spend more on my haircut than my monthly grocery budget. And I am still single.

Sure, there's more to a woman than how she looks. But as the hosts of the show repeat several times an episode, dressing well shows one possesses confidence and the desire to present oneself to the world in a positive way. And these people just waltz around the world, wearing sweatpants and polyester shirts to the office, and happened to stumble into the life (and onto the dick) of an attractive nice man.

Life ain't fair, y'all. I just wish it would be unfair in a way that benefits me more often.

6 comments:

The Fuz said...

I try to rationalize this injustice by imagining that those attractive men are losers who sit on the couch all day doing nothing but sucking at life or they physically abuse their spouses, hence the women's low self esteem and bad clothing. I don't know about you Ginger, but I'd rather be single than with a douchebag like those guys. At least that's what I tell myself. :)

Kathee said...

Among my group of amigos, I am the "single" one. All others are paired up. One is married. Most are miserable. I hear them fight and listen to their problems and I say I'd rather be single and see several dudes as friends with benefits (the occasional bang) than anchor myself to anyone right now. This may change when I'm 30 or 40, but for now, I'm looking to meet. Lots.

Miss Alpha said...

You have to be pretty ballsy to walk in daylight wearing what those ladies do. Maybe, just ballsy enough to land some incredibly hot nooky. Or maybe those hot hubbies are insecure? Or maybe their fetish is frumpy/dumpy women?

Or maybe..... just maybe... these women were hotter and more pulled together prior to the ball and chain?

Eva O'Dell said...

I always wondered if I was the only one who thought about this topic when watching reality shows. And the kid thing... someone is sleeping with them. Good post.

That Kind of Girl said...

Maybe people who are badly dressed, by some miracle of humanity, are actually as deserving of love and physical affection as those who get their jeans tailored and have the disposable income to pick up a hot pair of shoes. Just a crazy, revolutionary thought.

twg said...

Maybe these guys all have some Madonna-whore complex so they can't actually imagine marrying someone who isn't disturbingly matronly and of the "I'm not a woman, I'm a mom!" attitude ... this show is probably just going to facilitate a lot of divorces ;)

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