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05 January 2010

Ginger Snaps

Listen. I've read enough self-help books and watched enough sitcoms to know that I, as a woman, should always be a right little ray of sunshine. (With the possible exception of when I'm PMSing.) I should don my heels and take pride in arranging my hair and giggle my way through the world. Especially around the men I'd like to date.

But there are some days (let's say, oh, today) where I just can't keep up the charade and every. little. thing. pisses me right the fuck off. Some dude's rubbing his sweat-panted ass on my leg on the way into work? Pissed off. The guy I'm crushing on ignores my text for hours? Really pissed off. I find out the guy who won't get into me is going to the same party I am this weekend? It's all I can do to not text him and say, "Hey, asswipe, you've got time to drink someone else's shitty keg beer, but you can't find the time to take me out for some apps and cocktails? Prepare to have a beer thrown on you like we're on Jersey Shore."

I know I'll wake up tomorrow or the next day and understand that I'm overreacting, and I'll be my genuinely sunny self again. But right now, you'd best steer clear before I shiv you.


Ask4Janice said...

Men are idiots. Good for one thing, really. And sometimes, I'm not even sure of that.

Kelly L said...

I think there should be certain situations in which stabbing is permittable and even perhaps legal. We'd be doing the world a favor. They would be grateful. We'd be heroes.

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