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24 March 2010

Equal Opportunity Pervs

As I've noted in the past, I've long viewed public transportation as a cheap feel paradise. For less than the cost of a large coffee, Boston's subway line offers ordinary jerks like me the chance to get packed against businesswomen in their tight pants and big, round-ass skirts.

Unfortunately, I don't have many opportunities to ride the train. But a couple days ago, I had to make a trek in to the RMV, so I piled into formation with the commuters and settled in for the long haul, hoping some BU chick would plant her ass in front of my face for the ride. Instead, I got this laborer-type guy, hardhat and all, who's standing over me reading the Herald. And he's one of those guys who has mastered the fine art of standing up without holding on to anything, simply pressing himself against the seat railing to stay up.

Then I notice a woman -- cute, probably in her mid 30s, in a business suit -- putting her hand on the same railing that said laborer is using. Ostensibly, she's just looking for a place to anchor herself. But to clever perverts like myself, it really seemed like she was gunning for a cheap feel, seeing as how the guy was basically pressing his package against the railing to stay upright. As I sit there, trying not to notice, she seemed to be edging her hand closer, as if hoping the guy would rub against her knuckles at a sharp turn. And, yeah, I know the trick because I use it myself, trying to get justcloseenough to some hottie in the chance that her ass meets my crotch/arm/face during a close stop.

So, yeah. Women going for the cheap feel as well. Fucking awesome!


Gray said...

*laughs* Man I wish we had a subway system here! Would start all my mornings out interesting.

That Kind of Girl said...

Ew ew ew ew ew. This is exactly the reason that I get off the bus or train and wait twenty minutes before getting back on if the commute home from work is too crowded. Reading this made me feel sick to my friggin' stomach. Even if this is facetious, it's fucking grotesque.

Suzyn said...

I must be insane, then, cuz I dig a cheap feel now and then.

Anonymous said...

I actually don't mind the cheap feel on the metro. In fact, if I get a chance, I try to rub up against hot guys myself.

However, I do draw the line at metro masturbation and the occasional sicko who whips it out and tries to rub it against you during rush hour. Now that's just wrong. I don't want to feel bare naked business. Where's the mystery in that?

Shannon said...

I'm going to be brutally honest here... because I believe that brutality is more fun anyway... we don't mind a cheap feel on the subway IF (big if here folks) he's hot... we don't want someone older than our father or dripping with grease or reeking of pot to be quietly, and sneakily, molesting our booty... but if he looks like Colin Farrell odds are we won't mind... hell we might even think about it later... in bed.

Miss Alpha said...

Just a note for you Ken: I have a tendency to react to bubble interference. In other words, wait til I'm drunk to cop a feel.

Something She Said Once said...

I love a good cheap feel...hell I think it's the main reason I'm dying to go back to Barcelona...they were hot and grabby...lovely combo lol!

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