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03 March 2010

An Open Letter to My Facebook Friends, Who Are Dating, and On Vacation Together

Dear Facebook Friends, Who Are Dating, and On Vacation Together,

Congratulations on your newfound togetherness! We are all so very happy for you. We are all also pleased that even in this down economy, you've managed to scrape together the funds for a nice Mexican getaway.

But please, we're begging you--shut the fuck up about it.

You've been nonstop since you boarded the plane. Posting the Blackberry pictures of each other smiling. Pictures of the palm trees. Becoming fans of the restaurants you've mentioned in your status updates. Tagging each other as you fawn over how excited you are to be there. With the coolest girl in the world.

But here's the thing: If you were really having a truly amazing time, we wouldn't be hearing from you. The last thing you should be doing on a romantic getaway is being anywhere near your phone. Vacation is the one time we truly live--drinking all day, lounging on a hammock, incorporating foodstuffs into our sexual activities because it's not our job to get the stains out of the hotel sheets.

So, please. Turn the Blackberry off. Put it in the depths of your suitcase. Fuck each other's brains out. And, please, keep the graphic details to yourself when you come back Stateside.



Suzyn said...

1. This is awesome.

2. I second everything you said.

El said...

This is why I love yet hate Facebook. I don't want to know when my friends are getting laid as they're getting laid. Although stalking exes is much easier now.

twg said...

Oh Lord, A-fucking-men. Can I add couple pictures as your facebook picture to this equation? GROSS.

LOST PLUM said...

AND stop posting the pictures of a heart in the sand!

Anonymous said...


Ramesh kamuni
Mobile:+91 9246087265

Respected sir

Most of the banks were asking surety for getting loan.
But what is about students or people from low middle class and poor
students or people. how to get even small amount of loan if I don't
have surety from settled parson.
I want help in getting educational loan for my education here in
university of Hyderabad madam/sir.
Please try to help if possible.

Thanking you
Yours truly
Ramesh kamuni.
Room no 106,F-hostel,university of Hyderabad,Hyderabad-500046,India.

Permanent address
D no 4-10-22,sanjay nagar,jangaon-506167,Andhra pradesh,India.

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